20 Sep 5 Common Conversation Habits That Make People Instantly Dislike You – Mistakes to Avoid
We’ve all been in a conversation where the person we’re speaking to does or says something, and we instantly feel uncomfortable, or even instantly dislike that person for what they just said or did.
Sometimes we genuinely disagree with the person or find their opinion or perspective completely different to ours.
However, sometimes the person we’re speaking to just misinterprets the situation or tries to be funny or start some banter with us, but their attempt falls flat, and as a result we take it the wrong way.
We’ve all been in a conversation and tried to make a funny or sarcastic comment, or tried to start some banter with the person we’re speaking with and our attempt has fallen flat.
The good news is there are very definite things you can do to avoid your comments or attempts at humor falling flat like this, or people’s perceptions of your attempt at sarcasm being taken the wrong way.
So today, I’ll take you through 5 of the most common mistakes people make when they’re in a conversation with someone else.
And then I’ll go through the 5 things you can do to rectify the situation when you make one these mistakes, or avoid you from making them at all.
These conversational skills are important in an interview obviously, when you’re trying to impress a hiring manager or recruiter.
So let’s get to it.
Habit 1 — Reading Negative Intent In An Ambiguous Situation
The first habit is the habit of taking someone else’s comment or statement in a negative way, when it may not have been intended that way.
Don’t be guilty of reading too much into a comment or statement.
Sometimes the right thing to do is to take a comment from another person at face value. They may not have meant any more than what they said.
The saying, ‘many a true word is said in jest’ goes against this, but sometimes people just say things without much intent at all, and reading negative intent into it is the wrong way to take what they just said.
If you keep a positive intent on what the other person says, you feel better about the conversation and situation you’re in, and this is particularly true if you’re in an interview.
Even if the intent of the person you’re speaking to is obviously negative and their negativity is directed at you, you can get the upper hand in the conversation by not taking offence or getting defensive, but engaging the person in constructive conversation.
This keeps the conversation decent so it doesn’t descend into an argument.
Habit 2 — Sarcasm
Habit number 2 is taking sarcasm the wrong way.
Sarcasm is very nuanced and even in English speaking countries, someone from the United States might take a sarcastic statement differently to someone who’s British or Australian.
So when you want to add a sarcastic comment into a conversation, be aware of where the person you’re speaking to is from.
If you find you deliver a sarcastic comment as a joke into a conversation with someone and they take as you’re being serious, make sure you let them know you were being sarcastic.
The easiest way to do that is to simply say ‘I’m being sarcastic!’. Say it in a friendly tone and the other person will then get the joke.
Sarcasm can be a great icebreaker in a conversation, so when you use it, particularly in an interview, make sure the person you’re speaking to understands the joke. So elaborate if you have to.
Habit 3 — Praising Yourself
Habit number 3 is the habit of praising yourself.
Don’t jump on every opportunity to call praise or attention to yourself.
Spread the praise around.
For example, if you get into some banter with the person you’re speaking to, don’t try to praise yourself too much. If they make a comment praising you, be quick to mention the other people who helped you get the result.
Now, you definitely want to take some praise for yourself, particularly if you’re in an interview, but don’t take it all. Spread it around a bit. When you do you’re showing humility, which most people consider to be a positive personality trait.
Habit 4 — Don’t Try To Win Every Banter
Habit number 4 is to not try to win every banter.
When you get into some friendly banter with someone, don’t try to win every time. It’s better to let the other person win, particularly if they give you a great comeback.
Let them glow in the success of their great comment.
Doing this shows the other person that you’re bigger than the conversation or comments and can often show them that you’re on their side.
Habit 5 — You Deserve Some Compliments
Habit number 5 is to be able to take compliments.
When someone gives you a compliment, take it with grace and style, particularly when you’re in an interview.
Don’t try to lessen a compliment when someone gives you one, because when you lessen the compliment, you’re showing the person that gave you the compliment that you don’t value their comment as much as they do, which they can take as a rejection or put down.
So when you receive a compliment from someone, say thank you or smile warmly. This shows the person who gave you the compliment that you value their comment.
So there are 5 conversation habits that you can use to keep a positive spin on any conversation you’re in, and in particular, an interview.
- Habit 1 — Reading Negative or Positive Intent In An Ambiguous Situation
- Habit 2 — Using Sarcasm Appropriately
- Habit 3 — Not Praising Yourself Too Much
- Habit 4 — Not Trying To Win Every Banter
- Habit 5 — Taking Compliments
Of course, to get an interview you need to get in front of companies that want to you and your skills and experience.
A great want to do that is to use Connectzapp to let companies find you, contact you and ask you in for an interview.
The way it works is you go to Connectzapp.com, enter the details of the job you want, and you’re given a list of jobs that suit you.
They’re ranked in order with the most suited job at the top. You then swipe through each job, choose the one’s that most interest you, put those jobs into your shortlist and then contact those companies direct.
It’s quick and easy and the best part is the companies want you because they can see you’re a good candidate for the job.
So give it a try.
Go to Connectzapp.com or get the app.
Good luck with your job hunting!